Chapter 352: The Feast Is Over (3)
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“Young Lady Zhuge. Did you do that on purpose?”
“Of course.”
Namgung Hwi felt slightly drained. In truth, Namgung Hwi had been anticipating a muddy struggle between the two beauties, Zhuge Yan and Peng Chae-hyang.
“I thought Young Lady Zhuge also liked Big Brother.”
“How much have I even seen of him?”
“You said you knew him well regardless of the time you’ve spent with him.”
“Knowing a person and loving that person are not the same thing.”
Namgung Hwi fell silent. Zhuge Yan’s words were correct. Still feeling somewhat disappointed, he pressed his ear against the wall and sharpened his senses. Immediately, Zhuge Yan grabbed Namgung Hwi by the scruff of his neck and pulled him away.
“Maintain your dignity.”
“Aren’t you curious?”
“Not particularly. Why should I be curious about someone else’s love life? Young Master Namgung is surprisingly frivolous.”
“…….”
“Ah, I meant that in a positive sense. Because among the children of prestigious clans, there are many who put on unnecessary airs.”
“Is that so.”
“Of course.”
Namgung Hwi looked at Zhuge Yan suspiciously, but she did not seem to be lying at all. In that respect, she resembled Muk Hui-yeong, the big brother he respected.
Indeed, Zhuge Yan’s firm claim that she knew Muk Hui-yeong well seemed to carry that meaning. Since she was similar to him, she could not help but know him well.
“What was the reason you specifically provoked Young Lady Peng?”
“Because they are frustrating. Both of them.”
“I didn’t know Young Lady Zhuge was one to meddle in others’ affairs like that.”
“To be honest, I did think it would be better if Young Lady Peng more clearly took the Association Master’s side.”
“No one follows Big Brother as devotedly as Young Lady Peng does.”
“Even so. Young Lady Peng is still one of the unstable factors of the New Justice Association. Think about where her family comes from.”
“That is why Young Lady Peng avoids external activities as much as possible, doesn’t she?”
“Once the scale of an organization called the New Justice Association grows massive, rumors are bound to circulate. Because the world does not run solely on righteousness and chivalry.”
It was a cynical remark typical of Zhuge Yan. Namgung Hwi wanted to refute it somehow, but it was difficult to do so. It was because he, too, had witnessed all sorts of unsightly sights while serving as a strategist for the New Justice Association.
“If the imperial palace finds out that Young Lady Peng belongs to the New Justice Association, the Hebei Peng Clan’s windpipe will be immediately constricted. At that time, I want Young Lady Peng to choose the New Justice Association.”
“……You made such a provocation because of that?”
“Secondarily, yes. Primarily, the goal was simply to bring the two together.”
“Is that truly so?”
Namgung Hwi glared at Zhuge Yan. Zhuge Yan naturally let her gaze drift away and shrugged her shoulders.
“If you cannot believe it, there is nothing I can do. But Young Lady Peng and the Association Master were companions destined to part ways someday. Life is a structure where long pain and brief happiness follow one after another in succession……. Perhaps now, upon receiving the confession, the Association Master will make a decision. Regarding Young Lady Peng, he has put off the matter, unlike his usual self. It was something he should have decided long ago. And as a strategist, I could not simply stand by and watch that.”
Namgung Hwi looked at Zhuge Yan with an annoyed expression because he could not refute her words.
“In my experience of living, that is how it goes. Happiness disappears if you put it off, but pain only returns greater if you delay it. That is why you must enjoy happiness while enjoying it, and accept pain when it is time to accept it. Nothing is resolved by putting it off.”
Zhuge Yan said with a cynical expression.
“The Association Master said it, didn’t he? ‘The feast is over.’ Well, that is truly how it is.”
The moment those words ended, a heavy silence settled over the strategists’ room.
* * *
Peng Chae-hyang’s gaze as she raised her head and looked at me was exceedingly ardent.
Since when had Peng Chae-hyang’s feelings been conveyed to me? She said she had wanted to tell me these words ever since Hachido. That was a story from nearly two years ago.
Hearing the confession and reflecting on it, to be honest now, I seemed to have been half-aware of Peng Chae-hyang’s feelings.
Rather than being flustered from hearing something absurd, my heart sank with a feeling that what was bound to come had finally arrived. Though it was unconscious, knowing her feelings, I had cowardly looked away.
“Say…… something.”
Peng Chae-hyang spoke. Not knowing how to answer, I was still cornered with my back pressed against the wall.
Unlike when she boldly declared her feelings to me at first, her voice had become so delicate that a mere touch might break it. That meant she had mustered great courage earlier.
Knowing that embracing such courage was by no means easy, I wanted to respond quickly in some way, yet I did not want to hurt Peng Chae-hyang with hasty words.
“……It is because I am being cautious with every single word and phrase.”
I barely managed to open my mouth. Once I spoke, Peng Chae-hyang quietly waited for me.
Truly, countless thoughts swirled within me. I could not understand. Because I was not a person who avoided any subject.
If I had unconsciously avoided it, there must have been a reason why I had to avoid it.
“First.”
At that moment, Peng Chae-hyang blocked my lips with her finger. It was a soft finger devoid of any strength, but it was enough to stop my speech.
“Ah, I cannot bear to hear it.”
“Earlier you asked me to say something.”
“That was then, and this is now.”
Though absurd, I understood. For Peng Chae-hyang—a young lady of a prestigious clan and a beauty called the flower of the Central Plains—to confess to me was an absurd event in itself, was it not?
“Could you perhaps tell me next time? Suddenly I am trembling so much. I do not even know what I have done.”
Peng Chae-hyang shivered like a herbivore facing a predator. Her confident demeanor from before seemed to have been performed by exhausting several years’ worth of courage.
“Calm down. Take a deep breath.”
Peng Chae-hyang inhaled deeply into her chest. After exhaling, she seemed to have stabilized a bit.
“Have you calmed down?”
“Just a tiny bit.”
“That alone is plenty.”
I also took a deep breath. In an instant, the few women who had crossed paths with my life came to mind. In particular, with Gwan Seo-ye, we had shared a relationship that went as far as locking lips. However, I could assert that that was due to the influence of the qi I possessed.
In my previous life, Gwan Seo-ye had never clung to me like that, nor had I felt attracted to her.
However, Peng Chae-hyang likewise possessed demonic qi. If Peng Chae-hyang had not possessed demonic qi, would she have looked this charming in my eyes?
After learning that depending on the type of qi one cultivated in the body, two people could become natural enemies or matches made in heaven, it became difficult to believe in love in its true sense.
If the imperial palace intentionally made the Embroidered Uniform Guard and the Eastern Depot mortal enemies, could they not conversely artificially create mutual attraction?
If so, was being drawn by qi also love? For some reason, I felt a slight aversion to that.
Once my thoughts reached that point, I was finally able to realize. Unfittingly, I was someone who desired completely pure love. An interaction and collision between naked souls, receiving no influence and wearing nothing. Why was I desiring such a thing?
Perhaps losing my mother at a young age, and having practically severed ties with my father—though that misunderstanding was resolved now—had played a role.
It had become quite a complicated topic. By that logic, was not the value system regarding the love of a pure soul also derived from experience? Purity and experience were opposing values.
“Gege?”
“Ah, sorry.”
As my thoughts deepened, Peng Chae-hyang’s anxious voice pierced through to me.
For now, I held Peng Chae-hyang’s shoulders. Her small shoulders entered my two hands.
“First of all. This is not something I can answer right now.”
At my words, disappointment settled in Peng Chae-hyang’s eyes. I hurriedly added.
“If you hear the reason, you will understand as well……”
“I know too. It is because I am a person of the Peng Clan right now, isn’t it?”
Peng Chae-hyang cut me off. I realized I had made a mistake. I had treated Peng Chae-hyang as a child who knew nothing.
“Realistically, it would be difficult. I know too. If Gege and I needlessly become lovers, it will be troubling for me, but it will also put Gege in a difficult position.”
Peng Chae-hyang continued speaking while breathing raggedly.
“That is why I tried to hold back too. I waited for several years. But my feelings had grown too large beyond my expectations. To the point where I could not endure it at all.”
Peng Chae-hyang snatched my hand and placed it upon her chest. I was startled, but because she gripped with all her strength, I could not pull it away.
And only then did I feel it. Peng Chae-hyang’s heart was beating rapidly, as if suffering from tachycardia. My hand placed against it trembled.
“So, even if it is selfish, please forgive me.”
Before Peng Chae-hyang, who spoke to that extent, I simply could not leave this pitiful and delicate woman alone.
Who was someone like me, for her to tremble to this degree and confess her feelings for me? The heat blazing from Peng Chae-hyang’s heart immediately spread to my heart as well.
My chest and Peng Chae-hyang’s chest met. I could now feel her vibrations throughout my entire body.
While wearing a bewildered expression, Peng Chae-hyang shed tears, yet peculiarly, she even bore a smile.
That mysterious face was more beautiful and lovely than any woman I had ever seen.
Though it was daytime, within the dark storage room, our two shadows overlapped.
* * *
I opened my eyes due to the chill rising from the floor. When I sprang up, I was still in the storage room.
The heat that Peng Chae-hyang and I had filled was nowhere to be found. Only a damp chill filled the room, like an ordinary storage room untouched by sunlight.
I looked blankly up at the window. Outside the window, it was night.
Had I briefly dreamed because I was too tired? Covered by a bowl of ecstasy, the memory of mingling bodies with Peng Chae-hyang was faint, to the point where I could not distinguish whether it was reality or a dream.
Could it really be a dream that she confessed to me and we shared our bodies? I tried to push myself up from the floor, and at that moment, something caught my hand. It was a small, neatly folded piece of paper.
I carefully unfolded it so the paper would not tear. There, in Peng Chae-hyang’s handwriting that I knew so well, characters were written in neat alignment.
—Now, I can truly call you Gege.
That first sentence told me that the experience with Peng Chae-hyang was no dream.
—You must have been slightly flustered. You probably don’t even know at what moment you fell asleep. I secretly pressed your sleep acupoint.
Naturally, the question ‘Why?’ rose in my heart. The answer was written right behind it.
—If I were to remain by Gege’s side continuously, in the end, Gege would have to make a painful choice. Whether to keep me or send me away. I hate the thought of Gege undergoing such pain. That is why I decided to choose first. Since I have learned a great deal at the New Justice Association, I intend to utilize that to somehow rescue the Hebei Peng Clan from the grasp of the imperial palace. It is reckless, and though he is a father who does not particularly love me, he is still family after all.
“…….”
—Confessing to Gege was slightly impulsive. Because I had already made up my mind that I would leave someday. Truthfully, I thought Gege would never embrace me, so I was terribly surprised. And I was just as happy.
—I hope Gege will not mind me and will steadfastly walk the path of the New Justice Association without wavering. Of course, even as I write this, I know it makes no sense. That is why I told you earlier.
After reading all the way to the final sentence, I was unable to say anything.
—Even if it is selfish, please forgive me.